Top Five Life Regrets From Dying Patients

As a hypnotherapist and nurse providing hospice hypnosis, I see and hear things from my patients during the end of life process that are also helpful reminders for the rest of us. This is a great article that I found and in turn, posted here for my readers.

March 9, 2012
Palliative Nurse Shares The Top Five Life Regrets From Her Dying Patients

It is the only certainty we have in life, but when we get there, we would like to think we’ve accomplished all of our goals. Those goals change from decade to decade, but in the last 12 weeks of our lives, what really matters to us most is not sex, money, possessions or trips around the world. A nurse in palliative who has counseled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives.

Despite having no formal qualifications or experience, Bronnie Ware found herself working as a nurse in palliative care. Over the years she spent tending to the needs of those who were dying, Bronnie’s life was transformed especially in the last 12 weeks of their lives. Bronnie has had a colourful and diverse past, but by applying the lessons of those nearing their death to her own life, she developed an understanding that it is possible for people, if they make the right choices, to die with peace of mind. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
It is important to accept the fact that life itself is full of regret for so many people, but it doesn’t have to be. Every single choice you have made in your life has led you to where you are today. You simply would not be who you are today without those choices, and whether you perceive them as good or bad, they have expanded the deepest levels of your being.

All that matters in life is who you are at this very moment.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift! That’s why it’s called the present. ~ Master Oogway
Live life to the fullest…cherish your friends and family…follow your dreams and know that when you reach the end of your life, everything was how it was for a reason. Everything is how it should be.

Michael Forrester is a spiritual counselor and is a practicing motivational speaker for corporations in Japan, Canada and the United States.

How Hypnotherapy Reduces Healthcare Costs by Deeba Hargis, CHt, NLP

The intersection between the reduction of costs in healthcare and improved clinical outcomes for patients present the optimum goal for medical group administrators. When procedures to achieve these goals can be introduced seamlessly into existing protocols, without a disruption to existing organizations, it is well worth a careful examination of the potential of these changes to medical methodology. The introduction of hypnotherapy as a clinical tool in medical treatment offers such an opportunity to both reduce costs and improve the quality of treatment.

Hypnotherapy has been recognized for at least half a century as a clinically proven procedure for behavior modification (smoking cessation, weight loss), anxiety control, pain modification and even reduction in physical symptoms (irritable bowel syndrome, asthma, allergies, skin conditions). The scientific basis for the efficacy of hypnotherapy have been studied and accepted, and practitioners have been integrated into the larger community of healthcare practitioners. Professional organizations have been established to provide licensing/documentation of practitioners and to provide opportunities for professional growth. The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (founded in 1957) publishes The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis as well as regular monographs and holds annual meetings and workshops. The American Psychotherapy and Medical Hypnosis Association (1992) and the Association for Integrative Psychology (2005) also provide professional frameworks for practitioners, including a code of ethics, continuing education requirements, and monitoring and compliance of its members in good standing.

In recent years, the use of hypnotherapy as a treatment tool has been the subject of several controlled studies, with the results reported in peer-reviewed medical journals. The conclusions of many of these studies has been that the quality of the patient experience has been improved by means of control of patient anxiety and improved pain management. At the same time, studies have shown that hypnotherapy as a complimentary adjunct to health care can be used to provide earlier diagnoses with less intrusive means, the reduction of the rate and frequency of sedation and/or pain control medications and earlier post-operative and treatment recovery. The reduction in the amount of medication and the time spent in hospitalization and treatment has a direct and positive impact on lowering the costs of medical care.

Specific savings have been shown in the use of hypnosis in conjunction with sedation during outpatient radiologic treatment [1]. In a randomized study of 161 cases in which patients either underwent standard sedation or sedation with adjunct hypnosis before undergoing vascular and renal interventional procedures, the cost reduction for a combined savings of $338.00 per case. A study published in the September 5, 2007 issue of the Journal of the National Cancer Institute by Dr. Guy H. Montgomery, et al., found that in a randomized study of 200 patients, 105 of whom were hypnotized before surgery, total healthcare costs were reduced by $772.71 per patient. [2] An earlier study at the Harvard Medical School, the results of which were published in the Journal of the American Family Physician in 2000, showed that hypnosis reduced surgical costs by an average of $130.00 per case for patients undergoing non-emergency angiography, angioplasty and kidney drainage. [3]

The Berger study of burn pain protocols in an ICU associated with a university hospital in Switzerland, while not providing specific cost savings, did show reductions in pain scores and anxiety among patients who were treated with hypnotherapy. The study also documented a reduction in the number of procedures under anesthesia and total grafting requirements, which had a direct impact on treatment costs. [4] Earlier cancer diagnosis and treatment were shown in a study of several randomized controlled trials conducted at the Harvard Medical School. [5] The use of hypnotic interventions, which came at no additional cost in the treatments, not only reduced pain and anxiety among patients, but reduced procedure times and helped to stabilize vital signs. While monetary values were not assigned to these improvements, it is clear that the reduction in the length of time required for treatment would translate into financial savings.

These studies, along with many others in the medical literature, show the breadth and depth of possible financial savings and improved care outcomes from hypnotherapy. To apply hypnosis to a specific medical organization, however, still requires an on-site practitioner and individual application of these processes. Deborah “Deeba” S. Hargis is qualified to provide hypnotherapy services for patients as part of a medical organization’s practice, to help achieve both improved medical results as well as reduced healthcare costs.

Deborah “Deeba” S. Hargis is a certified hypnotherapist, certified NLP practitioner, business coach and consultant. For more than two decades, her services have been sought by hospital corporations, health management organizations, physicians and medical groups, celebrities, dignitaries, world-class athletes, public figures and ordinary folks, too. She has assisted thousands of patients and clients achieve their desired outcomes. Every great action begins with a first step. She may be reached by contacting her at (858) 412-7597 or via her website at


[1] Lang EV, Rosen MP. “Cost analysis of adjunct hypnosis with sedation during outpatient interventional radiologic procedures.” Radiology 2002 Feb;222(2):375-82. PMID 11818602.

[2] “Presurgical Hypnosis Reduces Patient’s Pain Perception, Lowers Hospital Costs.” Plastic Surgery Practice. (). Retrieved 03/16/2012

[3] Bates, Betsy. “Hypnosis Reduced Surgical Cost, Time, and Anxiety.” Family Practice News, March 1, 2000. (). Retrieved 03/16/2012

[4] Berger MM, et al. “Impact of a pain protocol including hypnosis in major burns.” Burns. 2011 Aug;36(5):639-46. PMID 19880267.

[5] Flory N, Lang E. “Practical hypnotic interventions during invasive cancer diagnosis and treatment.” Hematol Oncol Clin North Am. 2008 Aug;22(4):709-25,ix. PMID 18638697.

~ Author Deeba S. Hargis, CHt, NLP. Copyright 2012. All rights reserved.

What is hypnosis? What is NLP?

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Hypnosis Shown To Reduce Symptoms Of Dementia

Hypnosis Shown To Reduce Symptoms Of Dementia
ScienceDaily (July 28, 2008) — A scientist at the University of Liverpool has found that hypnosis can slow down the impacts of dementia and improve quality of life for those living with the condition.

Forensic psychologist, Dr Simon Duff, investigated the effects of hypnosis on people living with dementia and compared the treatment to mainstream health-care methods. He also looked at how hypnosis compared to a type of group therapy in which participants were encouraged to discuss news and current affairs.

They found that people living with dementia who had received hypnosis therapy showed an improvement in concentration, memory and socialisation compared to the other two treatment groups. Relaxation, motivation and daily living activities also improved with the use of hypnosis.

Dr Duff said: “Over a nine month period of weekly sessions, it became clear that the participants attending the discussion group remained the same throughout. The group who received ‘treatment as usual’ showed a small decline over the assessment period, yet those having regular hypnosis sessions showed real improvement across all of the areas that we looked at.

“Participants who are aware of the onset of dementia may become depressed and anxious at their gradual loss of cognitive ability and so hypnosis – which is a tool for relaxation – can really help the mind concentrate on positive activity like socialisation.”

Further research will now take place to establish whether hypnosis maintains its effects on dementia as the illness progresses, over longer periods of time.

Dr Dan Nightingale, co-author of the research and leading dementia consultant at the Abacus Clinic in Newark, added: “Evidence to date has shown that we can enhance the quality of life for people living with dementia through the correct use of hypnosis. We have now developed a course for clinicians who wish to incorporate hypnosis into health care plans.”

University of Liverpool (2008, July 28). Hypnosis Shown To Reduce Symptoms Of Dementia. ScienceDaily. Retrieved February 2, 2012, from­ /releases/2008/07/080728111402.htm
Note: If no author is given, the source is cited instead.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of ScienceDaily, Deeba S. Hargis, or staff.


Rich soil yields the plentiful crop. Planting in depleted sand does not. Choose well. ~ by Deeba Hargis

Every moment we have a choice. Choose wisely.

Denial of gravity works for awhile until it doesn’t. ~ by Deeba Hargis

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